This party’s victory over the Princes of the Apocalypse is bound to be the stuff of legend. Surely bards will soon tell their story, though for now, we must make do. Join them here on a trip down memory lane. This playlist features theme songs for characters past and present in our Dungeons and Dragons campaign, arranged roughly in marching order.
Deep Gnome Rogue
Half Elf Paladin
High Elf Cleric
Ace of Spades – Motörhead
Corey, Human DM
Pushing up the ante, I know you got to see me / Read ’em and weep, the dead man’s hand again
The first rule of Dungeons and Dragons is to never split the party. Corey even warned them as they explored the air cult’s lair and came to a disagreement about where to go next. He also introduced a Deck of Many Things to one of the factions.
Sabotage – Beastie Boys
Fredward, Deep Gnome Rogue
So listen up ’cause you can’t say nothin’ / You’ll shut me down with a push of your button / But I’m out and I’m gone / I’ll tell you now I keep it on and on
Fredward doesn’t take any crap, and he often makes decisive and deadly strikes from the shadows. The adventuring party isn’t always ready for it.
Spiderwebs – No Doubt
Tulra, Tiefling Fighter
Sorry I’m not home right now / Walking in your spiderwebs / so leave a message and I’ll call you back
Tulra the teenage Tiefling Thunderwaved her way into our hearts as she tried to kill a spider in the Bargewright Inn. In a campaign that has since been filled with magical moments, this interaction just may have been the one that set the bar.
Bad, Bad Leroy Brown – Jim Croce
Hagar, Gnome Barbarian
Bad, Bad Leroy Brown / Baddest man in the whole damn town / Badder than old King Kong / Meaner than a junkyard dog
What Hagar lacked in stature, he made up for with a big personality. In his relatively short time on this plane, he earned titles like “Badger Slayer” and “Hero of Womford.” A crude statue in his likeness is now central to that town, and the locals remember him fondly.
No More Mr. Nice Guy – Alice Cooper
Don Bassidy, Half Elf Paladin
I used to be such a sweet sweet thing ‘til they got ahold of me
Don Bassidy joined the group as a mild-mannered follower of nature with a mysterious past. Ever since he started carrying a war pick called Ironfang, however, he’s started acting a little strange. He now openly competes with Fredward to become Tom Baker’s favorite son, which is a little confusing since none of these men are related.
Takin’ Care of Business – Bachman Turner Overdrive
Tom Baker, Human Fighter
And if your train’s on time, you can get to work by nine / And start your slaving job to get your pay
Tom Baker is this party’s moral compass. He is the Campaign Dad, so it’s only fitting that his song would be the one that topped Bull Moose’s Ultimate Dadrock Playlist for Dads. He really just wants to go back home to his children in the God Emperor Reagan Space Future, but for the time being, he’s takin’ care of business with this ragtag party of adventurers in Faerün. It’s an unusual way to fill an empty nest.
If You Can See Me – David Bowie
Edmund MacHalfred, Human
Trash Cleric Warlock
Now you can say I’ve got a gift of sorts / A fear of rear windows and swinging doors / A love of violence and dread of sighs / If you can see me, I can see you
It’s clear that Edmund MacHalfred (no relation to Halfred Hitchcock) is in over his head with some kind of of arcane darkness. He mutters in Abyssal when he sleeps and draws strange runes in the sand.
The Devil Went Down to Georgia – Charlie Daniels Band
Halfred Hitchcock, Halfling Ranger
Devil, just come on back if you ever want to try again / I done told you once, you son of a bitch / I’m the best there’s ever been
Halfred Hitchcock stabbed a lot of statues. He also got in a flute battle with Windharrow, a high-ranking air cultist with a love for music. Though very impressive, Halfred’s performance came down to an initiative roll. If anyone survives this campaign, this story will be told for generations to come.
Dust in the Wind – Kansas
[unpronounceable screech], Aarakocra Cleric
All my dreams / Flashed before my eyes; a curiosity / Dust in the wind / All we are is dust in the wind
The Deck of Many Things works in mysterious ways. When Halfred drew a card that summoned a spectre of death, Screech came to his aid, only to earn a spectre of his own. He fought against it but was reduced to dust. Halfred survived his draw, finding another way to meet his own end not long after.
Stairway to Heaven – Led Zeppelin
Quel Thelas, High Elf Cleric
And it’s whispered that soon, If we all call the tune / Then the piper will lead us to reason / And a new day will dawn for those who stand long / And the forests will echo with laughter
Quel died. But then he came back thanks to the magic of Dungeons and Dragons. Nobody is really sure what to do with this information, so the party just avoids the subject entirely.